It was crazy..i was walking to go do laundry and I looked around San Jac and I go "it feels good to be home". So yes Im finally starting to think of UT as home. Of course I miss my friends but Im ready to move on with my life and begin a new chapter. Lol Im such a dork.
I burned two cd's today...Linkin Park Meteora and Limp Bizkit Choclote Covered Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water. Been rocking those all day.
Looking back on the summer I had a shitload of fun. I met some really cool people and partied hard. Some things I wish I hadnt have done (Wednesday and Sunday) and others Im glad I did. Yanno this was my summer of experiencing...I experienced a lot of alchohol, weed a few times, and many cigarettes. Of course some of the people that knew the old me are probably shaking their heads right now and wondering what the hell im doing to myself. You know I ponder that same question and honestly I dont know. Part of me wants to go to MoCo so ill be close to my friends and "home", another part of me wants to take a year off of college or not even go at all and then the last part of me wants to stay at UT and accomplish all the crap the studious hardworking part of me desires. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm just a scared, lost, and lonely little girl trying to find her way in this world. But then again Im not such a little girl anymore. Oh the life I lead....
Random poem time:
Lonliness begins to consume the warmth in my soul.
The fire that was ignited by your smile,
Struggles to stay burning.
Fear of losing the one thing that keeps me sane,
Causes me to follow any irrational thought.
Running freely into the desolate darkness,
I desperately call your name.
My only answer is the defeaning silence.
Sleep overpowers my will to carry on.
Giving into the sweet temptation I lay down.
Dreams visit me constantly about one thing....
You.
*
~*~7/26/03 (Lol. Now I know my friends are gonna be like who did she write that about. Im not saying I wrote it about anyone yet Im not denying I did. Ooo mysterious)