"Wow. My mind was on overdrive on the way back to A-Town today. It was like I was viewing my life and my friends lives and the world through the eyes of someone else. First off with me, this weekend has been the first in a long time where I had absolutely no desire to binge or purge what I had already eaten. Its moments like that that give me the hope that Ill get better. I also realized that I kinda treat a guy friend of mine badly-but not intentionally. I just don�t want him to still like me. It�s just so frustrating because I miss the way we were over the summer. Basically I realized I have no idea who I am, where my life is headed, and what I want from life but you know what...that doesn�t scare me anymore. Another friend. I love that girl so much but she puts herself through hell b/c of her boyfriend. I think he�s holding her back from her reaching her full potential. I just wish she could realize that these high school realtioships arent going to last and it�s not worth some of the things she goes through. My other friend. She and I are drifting apart and I dont think she really cares to do anything about it. I love this girl with all my heart and it kills me to see what she�s going through. I think she has issues with trust because Im assuming she�s been hurt in the past. I wouldn�t know because she won�t tell me if she has or hasn�t. But I wish she�d realize that she could tell me ANYTHING and my love for her and my opinion of her wouldn�t even waver for a second. I pray she�ll find someone she can talk to about anything with. She and I don�t really even talk anymore. I never thought I�d see the day that would happen. Maybe I�m just a naive person who is stuck with a child mentality. Who knows. Thought I�d end this with some song lyrics that are meaningful to me.

�Keep it inside the image portrayed,as if I couldn�t stand losing as if I couldn�t be saved,no way. A small confession I think I�m starting to lose it, I think I�m drifting away from the people I really need. A small reflection on, when we were younger, we had it all figured �cause we had everything covered. Now we�re older it�s getting harder to see what this future will hold for us, what the fuck are we going to be?�

�And I listen for the whisper, of your sweet insanity. While I formulate denials, of your affect on me�

�Blind white lies and shallow truth. Broken strings and stolen youth. I've seen too much of not enough, but you came much closer than they had before�

�Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over, when I look right through, to see you naked but oblivious. And you don't see me�

�So do you think I should adhere, to that pressing new frontier, and leave in my wake a trail of fear? Or should I hold my head up high, and throw a wrench in spokes by, leaving the air behind me clear?�