I weighed myself this morning..133 lbs. Then i proceded to b/p. Twice. Mia was calling my name and like the fat whore I am I gave in. so i just weighed myself and its 135. Buts also due to breakfast and what i drank and such. Tomorrow morning will be the true test. And tomorrow ana is also comning back. Not full on like how I only ate 200 cals. Im just gonna drink the ensure and eat nothing else. It will be hard because my fat ass will be used to stuffing itself. I figured these past mmm 5 days have been good b/c it got my metabolism speeding up from when it slowed down.

I need to get back to Thinspiration too. I let that slip when I started losing weight.

The thing is eating 3 meals a day isnt the hard part. I can eat 3 good full meals and keep it under 700 cals. Its the drinking the 3 ensures and not being able to exercise like I want. Those things hae 230 cals each so that 690 cals right there plus having 3 meals. I started off doing it perfectly, then i started eating more and more, then purging and now im tired of it and just wana ana to take over.

God im so pathetic. My life sucks. I suck. I just want to die.